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The student news site of Inglemoor High School

Nordic News

The student news site of Inglemoor High School

Nordic News

Complications of cosmetic consumerism

Rock Hard Love

Rock+Hard+Love
Jana Dimikj

Disclaimer: Cheeky is not responsible for your newfound crush on The Rock. Dwayne, if you are reading this, Cheeky is asking you to hit them up. HMU shawty!! <3 XD rawr :3

 

I woke up at 8 a.m. to go to school. I pulled on my Converse and threw my silky golden-brown hair into a messy bun before looking in the mirror. Ugh, I’m so ugly, but I don’t care because my natural beauty shines through. I made my way downstairs, where my step-mother started yelling at me to do the dishes. Ugh, my life is so hard. If only I had a big rock-solid man to help me. I grabbed a banana and ran out the door, far, far away from my evil step-mother. When would it end? As I walked onto the school campus, I saw him. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson: Inglemoor’s resident bad boy and football star. As I continued to walk down the hallway, I bumped into Dwayne himself. I dropped all of my books and he looked at me with his eyebrow raised. Oh god, that irresistible brow. Dwayne bent down to help me pick up my books. Our hands brushed and I felt a zap of electricity, our spark. Was this true love? Could this be the start of our Rock hard love? 

As he stood up to give my books back to me, his shirt ripped from the immense power of his muscles. Why was he glittery? I stared at his delectable abs. But I could never get a hunk like him. He was way out of my league! His twinkly deep brown eyes gazed into my beautiful sea-blue peepers. I just couldn’t get enough of his alpha male energy. 

“Hey,” he said. I was ON THE FLOOR! 

“H-h-hi,” I said. I was so nervous from his pure unfiltered hotness. The bell rang. We parted ways like the side part on my golden brown hair. At lunch, I sulked around with my rock hard pizza, reminiscing about my rock hard love, miserable on my own. I perked up when a gust of a familiar scent met my nostrils: masculine, stinky and oh so intoxicating. I looked up to find the source, and I saw him. Dwayne, descending from the heavens, in the hottest ride on campus. The Golf Cart of LOVE. “R-rock, why are you on Mr. Calhoun’s g-golf cart?” I shook. “Hey,” he said. “Want to come for a ride? He held his thick arm out to me. My tiny delicate hand held his sausage fingers, and he pulled me into the passenger seat. He started the Golf Cart of LOVE and gave me a cruise around campus. I felt like a princess, and this was my magic carpet. “Hey (y/n),” he said. “W-what?” I was anticipating. He looked at me for a minute, and then did it. He raised his eyebrow. It was so HOT! But then, there was a loud crash, and it all went black… 

When I woke up, I felt bliss. It was like a soft, warm caterpillar on my lips. Dwayne was  kissing me! (It was actually mouth-to-mouth CPR, but that doesn’t sound romantic enough.) We stopped sucking face as he lifted his gaze to meet my eyes. His gorgeous brown eyes reminded me of the dump I took that very morning that stunk up the whole theater bathroom. As I got up, I could sense that he was worried about me. “Hey?” he said. God, I can’t believe I found such a caring and sensitive man. “W-where are w-we?” I was confused. I looked around. We were in a darkly-lit, humid room. The sound of stage plays reverberated off the walls, and suddenly, I knew where I was. The theater bathroom. I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, but I slipped on the shimmery tiled floor. Before my golden brown head with the side-part collided with the door, Dwayne saved my life. He masculinely shimmied us back up onto the crumpled Golf Cart of LOVE and drove us far, far away. Everyone on campus clapped; even the cars were shining their headlights on me. The rain clouds went away and a triple rainbow appeared. This was my destiny: Rock Hard Love.

 

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About the Contributors
Jana Dimikj
Jana Dimikj, Feature Editor
Senior Jana Dimikj is the Feature Editor on the Nordic News staff for the 2021-2022 school year. Her goal for Nordic this year is to create engaging and relevant content that students will enjoy reading. She hopes to make Nordic a bigger part of the Inglemoor experience and spread the news to every student. Outside of Nordic, she partakes in a few clubs and enjoys playing guitar and painting.
Preethika Makineni
Preethika Makineni, Reporter
Junior Preethika Makineni is a first year reporter for Nordic News for the 2021-2022 school year. Her goals are to create engaging Arts & Entertainment content, and she would also like to improve her writing skills. Outside of Nordic, she enjoys listening to Taylor Swift and One Direction, and watching Marvel movies. In her spare time, you can find Preethika writing music, listening to pop music, watching any movie she can get her hands on, and daydreaming at the most inconvenient of times.

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Rock Hard Love