I woke up at 8 a.m. for school. I was so tired. I hate school, but I just love reading because I’m a nerd. I’m just not like any of the other girls who like pink and dresses. I threw my chocolate brown hair into a messy bun before looking in the mirror and noticing how plain I am with my flawless skin and perfect teeth. I wished someone would notice me. I dashed downstairs as I checked my phone for any texts from my old flame, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. We were perfect, and I thought our love story would last forever, but, alas, he left me for the worst person ever: a blonde.
My train of thought broke when my stepmother yelled at me to go to school. I didn’t put any makeup on before I left because I just have naturally perfect skin and long eyelashes. I scampered to the bus, where I put my earbuds in and listened to One Direction (it’s an underground band, you definitely haven’t heard of them). I stared at my Galaxy leggings and matching Vans until I arrived at school.
At school, I heard everyone whispering. At first, I thought it was about me, since I’m a dorky loner nerd, but I realized that everyone was talking about the new student. I couldn’t catch his name, but I was curious. Could my heart be mended again? Could I love again? As the bell rang for lunch, I snapped out of my thoughts and walked to the cafeteria, smoothing out my brand new shirt from Justice with reversible sequins. Maybe everyone made fun of me, but I knew it was because I was different and oh-so-stylish. As I moved with the crowd, I saw a head that I didn’t recognize. Was it Eminem? Eminem was my biggest celebrity crush. His music was like poetry.
As I pranced toward the figure in the cafeteria to get his attention, he turned around. It wasn’t Eminem. In a leather jacket and the skinniest black jeans that looked like they were spray-painted on was the most gorgeous man. His forehead wrinkles were as deep as the Grand Canyon, and I just wanted to live in them. He flipped his hair and held his hand out for me to shake.
“I’m Adam. Adam Levine.” He said. “I-I-I-I-I’m y-y/n,” I responded nervously, peeking through my side bangs.
Adam reached out and caressed my face. His hands were as smooth as a baby’s butt and SO much bigger than mine. I wanted to be his baby. He had so many tattoos, he looked like a Chipotle bag. Dreamy.
“Holy fudge. Holy fridging fudge. That face of yours is absurd,” he said. I blushed, my pale white skin turning the prettiest shade of pink. I shyly batted my eyelashes and tucked my hair behind my ear.
“Th-thank you Adam.” I said. I gazed longingly into his green orbs that seemed like they held so many secrets, and I wanted to know all of them. He winked at me (unfortunately it came off as more of a looong blink) and I blushed a flaming Elmo red in response.
“Call me Addy,” he said. “Just don’t tell my wife and kids about us.”
He was so smart and reasonable! Being the other woman was my ultimate life goal. It was so mysterious and dangerous! I knew at that moment that I was in love.
“O-ok Addy,” I said, giggling as he put his delicate little hand on my shoulder as we continued talking. After lunch ended, I escorted my pretty little princess over to his choir class before going to Nordic. I hate that class. Everybody smells. I sighed wistfully, daydreaming about Addy’s tattoos. My favorite one was the “California” tattoo, because I’m a Cali gal. At exactly 2:27 p.m., the door burst open to reveal my one true love. He was standing with a microphone and the rest of his band, Maroon 5, and they serenaded me with their sick tunes. I twirled gracefully to the music. I also interspersed my twirls with doing the robot because I’m extra quirky. After the serenading ended, Addy got down on one knee and asked me the question I’d dreamed of ever since I was a little girl.
“Baby, you got the moves like Jagger. Will you be my other wife?” My eyes welled up with tears at the gesture. I was so in love. He helped me onto his slick ride, a payphone, and we flew away together on his payphone into the clouds. I loved my silly pookie and I knew he loved me, too, because he spent all his change on me. I adore my Eminem knockoff. Y/n and Addy 4EVA!!!!!!!!!