Nordic News

  • ASB Election packets will be available in the ASB office Feb. 3
  • First ASB Student Senate meeting on Jan. 24. 
  • Valhalla Players present The Brothers Grimm Spectaculathon on Jan. 24
  • ASB Elections are March 25
  • Sign up for ASB Senate with your fourth period teacher

Cheeky horoscopes

Cheeky horoscopes

Gabe Kramer and Margaret He

December 20, 2019

  Your freezer breaks and all your ice cream melts. Forget the ice cream and yell at your freezer for breaking down. Inspired by your pep talk, your freezer begins running again. Literally. After a few laps around your house, your creamy dessert is saved! You take your mildly-melted d...

Forbidden fables

Forbidden fables

Sonya Sheptunov and Kellen Hoard

December 20, 2019

  Here comes Santa Claus, right down...a communist lane? He takes from the rich and gives to the needy in honor of Karl Marx. The Yuletide man dressed from head to toe in red fulfills his duty to the motherland— lucky for him, going down chimneys on Christmas is the perfect disguise for a Communist s...

Cheeky Thanksgiving pranks

Cheeky Thanksgiving pranks

Rahima Baluch and Gabe Kramer

November 22, 2019

Fixing the pumpkin pie It’s time for a change — the age-old mix of pumpkin pie isn’t working for us anymore. With winter coming, the cold is becoming too much to bear. What you need is some extra ingredients to really heat things up! Be sure not to skimp out on the crucial spices such as cayenn...

Cheeky’s franken-recipes

Cheeky’s franken-recipes

Margaret He and Cathy Zhao

November 22, 2019

  Disclaimer: This article is purely satire. For best results, complete all recipes at once. We at Cheeky are sorry if the recipe becomes poisonous....

Cheeky Halloween origami

Cheeky Halloween origami

Naomi Nam, Reporter

October 25, 2019

Having trouble deciding what to be for Halloween? Take a risk with a magical fortune teller to reveal your fate: are you more likely to be zombie student insomniac or a makeup perfectionist banshee? ...

Inventions nobody needs

Inventions nobody needs

Mia Tavares, Reporter

October 25, 2019

Cyber Calhoun No security can beat C.A.L.H.O.U.N. Let's take this elite force onto the internet and make crippling and preventable hacks a thing of the past. This unit will ensure no hackers park in your cyber spot.                ...

DECLASSIFIED: Cheeky’s top-secret back-to-school survival checklist

DECLASSIFIED: Cheeky’s top-secret back-to-school survival checklist

Aditi Jain, Sonya Sheptunov, and Rahima Baluch

September 7, 2019

Experience extreme senioritis, regardless of whether or not you’re a senior. If you play your cards right, it should hit the first day of freshman year.  Sign a dance contract for Homecoming because otherwise, once you start dancing you legally can’t stop. You’ll be dancing your way to a court...

DIY Prom: Cheeky Style

DIY Prom: Cheeky Style

Rachel Lawson and Minita Layal

May 18, 2019

Disclaimer: This article is purely satire. If you even considered for a split second that this advice was worth taking, there is a 99% chance that you are without a date and will kindly refrain from filling out the heads. We at Cheeky are sorry....

#VOTECHEEKY2020

#VOTECHEEKY2020

Evelynn Li and Audri Saulters

April 19, 2019

Meet Chadwick (Chad) Hometown: Beige, Wyoming Current Occupation: Influencer. That’s right, he spreads the flu. What a sick dude. Political alignment: A member of the Green-Tea Party, which doubles as a book club on Tuesdays. Qualifications - Mayor of his town on Club Penguin - Met Obama’s cou...

Cheeky Alpha: Puzzle Page

Cheeky Alpha: Puzzle Page

Miles Gelatt and Olivia Sasson

March 7, 2019

Disclaimer: Nordic does not condone sleep deprivation and in fact recommends full winter hibernation. The collective hive-mind that is Cheeky is very tired and hope Scandia knows we love them #plsloveustoowe’relonely. We at Cheeky are sorry.

“Need a little spooky action?”

“Need a little spooky action?”

Carina Bixby, Cami Brix, and Rachel Lawson

October 31, 2018

Are you overcome with schoolwork or other human obligations, but you need a little Halloween hit? Look no further, for Cheeky knows how you can spook up your daily routine. Happy hunting! • We would suggest that you cut holes in your sheets but we all know you’ve already been ghosted enough this...

Letter to the editor: dinosaur cheeky nuggets?

Letter to the editor: dinosaur cheeky nuggets?

Audri Saulters and Sonya Sheptunov

October 17, 2018

Letter to the editor, While I understand that a letter to the editor has certain conventions, I will absolutely disregard them for the sake of this response. The paper is intended to address the lives and needs of the students. Students always complain about being unhappy or stressed. I have a si...

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