DECLASSIFIED: Cheeky’s top-secret back-to-school survival checklist
Aditi Jain, Sonya Sheptunov, and Rahima Baluch
September 7, 2019
Experience extreme senioritis, regardless of whether or not you’re a senior. If you play your cards right, it should hit the first day of freshman year. Sign a dance contract for Homecoming because otherwise, once you start dancing you legally can’t stop. You’ll be dancing your way to a court...
DIY Prom: Cheeky Style
Rachel Lawson and Minita Layal
May 18, 2019
Disclaimer: This article is purely satire. If you even considered for a split second that this advice was worth taking, there is a 99% chance that you are without a date and will kindly refrain from filling out the heads. We at Cheeky are sorry....
#VOTECHEEKY2020
April 19, 2019
Meet Chadwick (Chad) Hometown: Beige, Wyoming Current Occupation: Influencer. That’s right, he spreads the flu. What a sick dude. Political alignment: A member of the Green-Tea Party, which doubles as a book club on Tuesdays. Qualifications - Mayor of his town on Club Penguin - Met Obama’s cou...
Cheeky Alpha: Puzzle Page
Miles Gelatt and Olivia Sasson
March 7, 2019
Disclaimer: Nordic does not condone sleep deprivation and in fact recommends full winter hibernation. The collective hive-mind that is Cheeky is very tired and hope Scandia knows we love them #plsloveustoowe’relonely. We at Cheeky are sorry.
“Need a little spooky action?”
Carina Bixby, Cami Brix, and Rachel Lawson
October 31, 2018
Are you overcome with schoolwork or other human obligations, but you need a little Halloween hit? Look no further, for Cheeky knows how you can spook up your daily routine. Happy hunting! • We would suggest that you cut holes in your sheets but we all know you’ve already been ghosted enough this...
Letter to the editor: dinosaur cheeky nuggets?
Audri Saulters and Sonya Sheptunov
October 17, 2018
Letter to the editor, While I understand that a letter to the editor has certain conventions, I will absolutely disregard them for the sake of this response. The paper is intended to address the lives and needs of the students. Students always complain about being unhappy or stressed. I have a si...
Applying some Cheek to college
Rachel Lawson, Olivia Sasson, and Audri Saulters
August 6, 2018
Ahh, early onset senioritis is in the air, and it’s making your motivation to start college apps plummet into the abyss of Netflix and Cheeto fingers. No need to worry, because Cheeky has curated a special guide, a 100% proven guarantee*, to get you into the college of your dreams. Where to apply The facto...
CheECO friendly tips
Audri Saulters and Alex Haworth
April 24, 2018
Hug all the trees in the Seattle Metropolitan Area. Do a check-in: are they oakay? Remember, this is you consoling the Earth in her final years. Throw your trash off the ends of the Earth because we all know it’s flat anyway. Put the fossil fuels back into the ground so they can become dinosaurs again. Cu...
Cami Brix, Shannon Hong, and Oliver Hopcroft
June 13, 2019
Oliver Hopcroft When each issue arrives, I love the smell of ink and the feeling of fresh newsprint as I pick up a paper. Each time, I’m reminded of how proud I am of our...
