Introduction

Cheeky have raided the deep recesses of our angsty teen records to declassify these diary entries of love and loss in order to guide you during this season. So feast your eyes upon the woes of a hormonal soul.

First Meeting

Date: Feb 14

My dearest diary,

Today I saw the of my dreams, . Their eyes are like celestial pools. I long to for nothing more than to drown in them. They are so and ! We have so much in common! They like and I could like totally learn to like those. It only took them 23 hours of me trying to make eye contact for them to notice, so we are clearly in love. I can’t stop thinking about what our wedding will be like. I’ll wear (a/an) , and then we will into the . All I have do do know is start to them.

Rejection

Date: ha. I’ll never date again

DEAR DIARY,

I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH LOVE, I THOUGHT WE WERE LIKE BUT I GUESS I WAS WRONG!!! I SAW MY HEART’S ONE TRUE DESIRE TODAY AN WAS WITH . THEY HAD THE AUDACITY TO BE EACH OTHERS . We shared so many beautiful moments like the time when we wore the same color, or when you to someone behind me. The is gone from my life and my only hope is to on my floor and roll in a pile of my own .

REVENGE

Date: Judgment Day

Dear Diary,

My may be broken but my resolve is not! I’ve had my time to grieve and after containers of and hours of Adele, I KNOW MY WORTH. Revenge is the new self care and oh will it my revenge be . All shall before my might. Love is but a cruel curse of emotion that inevitably leads to heartbreak and in a brutal wasteland of human existence. That’s why I plan to make the entirely of feel my pain! broke my heart and now they I will break theirs. That’s right I am will hire to create a that shall surround the entirety of with a gas that shall deem all who are near it heartbroken. I shall pay with and a ziplock bag of my tears. Then soon, oh so soon, all will know how it feels to have their heart replaced my a empty of despair.

Disclaimer

We, as the collective hive mind that is Cheeky, are not responsible for your heartbreak nor do we condone hiring mad scientists to help you through it, but yes bags of tears are a valid currency. Stay out there folks and maybe eat some , that always cheers us up. We at Cheeky are sorry.