Nordic News

  • "The Man Who Came To Dinner" on Nov. 1 and 2 @ 7:00 p.m. and Nov. 3 @ 2:00 p.m.

  • Seniors required to sign off on the correct spelling of their preferred and legal name during lunches on Nov. 5, 6 or 7

  • Viking Quest every Tues. from 2:30 to 3:45 p.m. in room 925

  • Girls Who Code meets from 12:55 to 2:00 p.m. on two early release Wed. every month

  • Mandatory parent and player meeting for winter sports on Nov. 20

CheECO friendly tips

We at Cheeky value the Earth! Here are some tips to help save it.

Audri Saulters and Alex Haworth

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Hug all the trees in the Seattle Metropolitan Area. Do a check-in: are they oakay? Remember, this is you consoling the Earth in her final years.

Throw your trash off the ends of the Earth because we all know it’s flat anyway.

Put the fossil fuels back into the ground so they can become dinosaurs again.

Cut down on water bottle waste by buying thousands of plastic bottles so no one can throw them away.

The world is already overpopulated; have plants instead of children.

Move into a treehouse to reduce your carbon footprint. Build it out of plastic to save trees.

Grandfather’s funeral today? Better not slaughter any innocent flowers. Express your sympathies with an e-card instead. Or maybe a groupon for hot yoga.

 

*This article is purely satire. If you truly care about mother earth, please, do not accept any of this sage advice. The planet is dying and we are sad. We at Cheeky are sorry.

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About the Writers
Audri Saulters, Cheeky Editor

Audri Saulters Coach is the designated kazooist of Nordic News for the 2018-2019 school year. Her goal is to fully master the instrument, play at Carnegie...

Alex Haworth, Managing/Copy/Feature Editor

Alex is a senior and is spending her second year on Nordic as the managing, feature and copy editor. As if that weren’t enough work, she’s also a full...

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CheECO friendly tips