From shoving kids in lockers and picking courtyard fights to forming exclusive cliques and engaging social media politics, school bullying has a vast and varied history. Media tropes like pushing kids into lockers and stealing lunch money originated decades ago, while other kinds of bullying, like cyberbullying, arose only recently. Principal Adam Desautels (he/him) said he’s observed a marked difference in bullying dynamics since he was in high school in the early 2000s.
“I think the bullies themselves have changed today as well,” Desautels said. “Your bullies would be the biggest kids in the school or the most popular kids in the school, and that’s not necessarily the case anymore. I think it’s really more your most manipulative kids in school.”
A 2021 study by Reeve S. Kennedy in the journal Trauma, Violence, & Abuse explored how bullying evolved from 1998 to 2017. The study divided bullying into three categories: physical, verbal and relational. In general, it found a decrease in face-to- face bullying. However, relational forms of bullying, like exclusion and rumor-spreading, appeared to be holding steady. Assistant Principal Dr. Ebonisha Washington (she/her) said she noticed the way bullying dynamics have changed in her 16 years in the education field.
“The meanness isn’t direct all the time. It’s like keeping this burn book, or talking about people, or spreading rumors, and part of that is the availability of social media,” Washington said. “I think it might be a little bit more dangerous than when I first started teaching.” Similarly, over the course of his 12 years in school administration, Desautels has seen bullying become less confrontational and physical. He said the shift has been especially profound since the COVID-19 pandemic.
“I would say there’s the pre-COVID bullying and there’s the post-COVID bullying, which, again, you saw a lot more physicality pre-COVID,” Desautels said. “You saw more groups getting involved, you saw more third party people getting involved in, fighting with each other through bullying, versus solely social media.”
Overall, Desautels said the incidents of bullying have decreased. He attributes this in large part to the increase in and consistency of anti-bullying lessons taught in schools. Nowadays, he said students have learned about bullying their entire lives, so the message is getting through. Washington and Desautels both said that the bullying they see at IHS mostly takes place in friend groups that are going through friendship dynamic changes. Specifically excluding one person is among the most common types of bullying they’ve seen. Desautels also said that there is often a fine line between bullying and peer conflict.
“One person starts it, but then the other one fires back, and it’s just back and forth, and then somebody takes it over a line, and the other one says, ‘oh, there’s bullying,’” Desautels said. “Sometimes you have to think, ‘is this bullying, or is this maybe just the deterioration of a friendship?’”
Both Washington and Desautels also noted how dangerous this new kind of bullying can be. Washington said that in addition to the anonymity that social media gives, the power dynamics in friend groups also make finding the root of the problem harder. Desautels also said that bullies’ approaches have changed, becoming broader and more psychologically damaging.
“As opposed to being like, ‘I can physically intimidate you,’ it’s, ‘I can make your life miserable,’” Desautels said.
Indirect bullying is a method of harassing someone, and it involves quickly spreading rumors and gossip about a person, often lacking truth or input from the victim.
Senior Theresa Hodges* (she/her) said she has been a victim of bullying at various schools, and various types of bullying have made her school experience difficult.
“I got bullied a lot throughout middle school,” Hodges said. “I had people telling me that I sound like a ‘“transgender”’ or telling me that I sound like a dude, or I wasn’t actually a woman because of my having a more raspy, deeper voice.”
Cyberbullying offers bullies a new, more anonymous method of bullying. This anonymity can provide them with a feeling of safety and might motivate them to do things they wouldn’t do in a face-to-face scenario. Hodges said she believes bullying is a bigger problem now because of the widespread accessibility provided by online platforms.
“(Bullying) was mostly in my face, but I’d also experience cyberbullying,” Hodges said.
Cyberbullying is not the only way students are experiencing mistreatment in school. Junior Quincey Coulter (she/they) said she has experienced indirect bullying. She said her experience has made her feel unwelcome at school.
“Popular kids would be pointing at me and whispering, and it wasn’t physical, but it was psychological,” Coulter said. “It really ruined my self-esteem, and I felt unsafe to go to a lot of places. I didn’t feel safe going between classes. I would try to make it as quick as possible.”
Microaggressions (small acts of hostility that target an individual) or indirect bullying might not be as obvious as physical conflict. These behaviors often go unnoticed by others or get brushed aside entirely, as they may appear small or insignificant.
“It’s not that bad now in high school, but I still experience microaggressions,” Coulter said. “Students — when I raise my hand — they make funny faces at me and try to see my reaction and laugh. I see people pointing and laughing at me.”
In addition, Washington said that bullying is often caused by more than one person. She said that a clique culture that promotes exclusionary behavior can exacerbate the spread of rumors and judgments against students. Washington has witnessed this both online and in person.
“There’s some isolating that happens where, the best example I can give is a group of kids who were friends. They’re no longer friends; they get another group of friends to bully this other person,” Washington said. “That has happened a lot here.”
A large factor in bullying is a complete lack of interest in getting to know somebody. Stereotypes often stem from closed-minded thinking, fostering a space for bullying.
“I hate school because I feel like nobody cares about what I have to say, because they all see me as a stereotype, and I feel like no one really cares to know who I really am,” Coulter said.
Microaggressions like the ones Coulter experiences are small but serious acts of hostility. They can build up over time and worsen bullying situations. While they can seriously affect the target, Coulter said microaggressions may fly under the radar.
“I feel like a lot goes unnoticed; there’s nothing to try to stop microaggressions. I see microaggressions happening on a daily basis, and students being made to feel uncomfortable, and the teachers just turn their backs and do nothing,” Coulter said. “I feel like that needs to be more aggressive; the students should be confronted, so their behavior can change.’’
Reaching out to teachers or administrators is a common way for students who are being bullied at school to find help. While school administrators serve as the main point of contact for any issues that may arise, if situations escalate or remain unsolved, students should contact NSD’s Harassment, Intimidation and Bullying coordinator, Rick Ferrell ([email protected]), to help resolve the situation. They will provide you with further information for making a report. Reaching out to the district’s HIB coordinator isn’t limited to students; parents who are aware of their child’s situation and want to make a report can as well. If the students and parents don’t reach a satisfactory resolution, they can reach out to the Governor’s Office of the Education Ombuds, who advocates on their behalf.
Acting Director, Erin Okuno (she/her) explained the process for OEO cases. One of the first steps OEO takes after being contacted by a parent, student or school administrator is to open a case regarding the call and delegate it to either an associate Ombuds or a senior Ombuds, depending on the severity of the situation. An Ombud is an official appointed to investigate and resolve a complaint or case received by the HIB coordinator. Okuno said that when a case is assigned to an associate Ombuds, they create a consultation with the family to help answer questions, explain different resolution pathways and talk through various strategies to help resolve the issue.
Okuno said that senior Ombuds are assigned cases if a student is forced out of school due to bullying or harassment, or if they are within Ombuds priority groups. Senior Ombuds cases can last up to 120 days, with OEO often talking directly to the school and parents involved to decide how to move forward from conflict resolution. Overall, OEO works to help provide solutions by offering consultations, organizing meetings between parents and students and laying the groundwork for solutions.
When situations worsen, searching for further help and support online shouldn’t be out of the picture. Resources such as StopBullying.gov and Common Sense Media offer a wide range of educational resources specifically tailored to students to make the information digestible and accessible. For situations that require one-on-one or immediate support, Teen Link (1-866-833-6546) offers multiple options, including texting, calling and live chat on its website. Another teen who is trained to provide support in various categories, and not just bullying, will communicate with you.
Support systems can include a person or place that provides emotional or social assistance during harsh times. Okuno said support systems are a great method for dealing with situations that feel uncomfortable, and that students being comfortable enough with their friends to discuss any issues is super helpful when dealing with bullying. Whether it’s your friend standing up for you or your teacher supporting you during your classes, knowing that you’re not alone is always a positive step forward when dealing with various forms of harassment. Surrounding yourself with positive reinforcement and having someone you know you can rely on will always outweigh fighting the harassment yourself. For those who struggle to find a support system, one of the best things you could do is work on building an environment that you can rely on when you feel uncomfortable. Achieving this isn’t easy, but it can be done by engaging in open discussions with your friends, remaining transparent and working towards a safe relationship with one person.
Lighthearted arguments within friend groups may be common, but understanding and ensuring the comfort level of someone involved in the conversation is always important. Okuno mentioned that a common issue within friend groups is misunderstanding these limits, oftentimes about one’s appearance. Okuno said that no one should ever feel forced to be the ‘butt of every joke’ to stay friends. Finding the courage to speak up when boundaries are crossed is just as important as setting boundaries with new friends or even old friends. Furthermore, working towards understanding everyone’s comfort level is key to moving past and avoiding toxic friendships. Bullying isn’t just limited to strangers, and it’s important to work towards feeling safe in every environment.
