As the looming threat of exams approaches, studying can become your worst nightmare. Images of fearsome flashcards and killer Quizlets will haunt your every moment as test season nears. Luckily, Cheeky has decided to help you out by compiling a list of completely legitimate and reliable study methods to finally rid you of that traumatizing Kahoot melody that plays when you’re alone!
Disclaimer: Cheeky is not responsible for any failed exams, stress, emotional damage, bodily harm due to the ill-advised consumption of (in)edible objects or involuntary crashouts caused by a series of unfortunate events.
#1: Mystical epiphany
The night before the test, gather your textbooks and toss them into a summoning circle. If this ritual is done correctly, Cheeky’s icon — Benson Boone — will appear before your unworthy eyes and cast the ultimate spell of moonbeam ice cream. Ice cream will blast forth from his signature attack and cover your papers with a frosty chill. As you wipe away the sugary goodness, the answers will slowly appear, delivering the knowledge you seek.
Caution: Failure to ace the test may result in loss of soul via blue jeans backflip attack.
#2: Tiny teachers
We get it: sometimes, studying can be difficult. If you can’t seem to pick up a pencil, this method is for you! Lock yourself in your room for a couple of days — the little gnomes living in your walls will appear to help you out! Though unconventional, gnomes are surprisingly great tutors. Once you master their flashcards, they’ll release you from your Blooket prison as the most exam-prepared student possible! Insanity may be a bit of a side effect, but who cares about hallucinations if you have straight A’s?
#3: Recommended dose? I think not!
Studying can be the most exhausting task in the world, so stock up on those Monster energy drinks and mix and match them as you see fit! Once you hit the required caffeine levels, a creature of your choosing will manifest within your mind to aid you in your studies! Beware: different flavors result in different monsters! If you’re lacking in literature, try drinking a Monster Ultra! If you struggle in STEM, a Peachy Keen Monster will help drill you on those terms! However, no more than five of those bad boys — you have to watch out for your poor little heart and teeth!
#4: Synced up
If you’re stuck doomscrolling reels for hours on end, opening that crusty dusty textbook from first semester may be the last thing on your mind. Instead, put your exceptional technological skills to good use and keep scrolling on social media! If you spend enough time scrolling away, your phone’s Bluetooth will sync with your brain waves and transfer its digital data to your mind. With all the knowledge of the internet, you will be able to pass your impossible exam with no problems.
#5: Consumption of knowledge
After spending long hours studying, you are bound to get hungry. Studying takes extreme brain power, and brain power burns calories. However, if you want to pass those exams, even whipping up a quick snack is too time consuming! Instead, Cheeky recommends eating that spare dictionary you have lying around. Ignoring the lack of nutritional value and the concerning amount of papercuts on your tongue, dictionaries are a great substitute for bland protein bars! Better yet, you’ll be able to absorb those thousand pages of words with ease, and soon, you’ll be writing like Shakespeare reincarnated!
