Cheeky has used some of the most state-of-the-art bootleg crystal balls on the market to bring you visions of the distant future. Out of the possible outcomes we saw, four have been selected for your viewing pleasure. Some are good, some are bad, but one thing is certain: we have no idea if they are right.
The Subterranean Sightseers
The Mole People have emerged from deep below the Earth’s surface. At first, we had assumed the worst, so the world’s militaries prepared for the conflict of the century. Much to their surprise, the moles revealed their true intentions: they were just bored with being underground all the time. They’re actually pretty chill and really good engineers. They can assist humanity in creating dozens of revolutionary inventions, like the Reverse Rocketship™ or a shovel so powerful it can dig through the fabric of the universe itself. These will allow for quick and easy travel across space and time, pushing humanity and its mole allies to quickly conquer the galaxy. Either that, or they bring humanity to its knees and help the moles conquer the universe by stealing our natural resources. What happens after the invention of the Quantum Shovel™ is unclear.
The Culinary Coup
Pineapple on pizza has officially been made illegal and the world has become a utopia. Poverty is eradicated, global warming has been reversed and Italians across the world are happier than they’ve ever been. Of course, pineapple farmers did suffer a dip in sales, but they deserve it for allowing their crops to be put on top of pizzas in the first place.
The Roomba Revolution
When the Roomba was first invented, we never thought anything of it. It was just a harmless little vacuum that cleaned the house while you were away. We never suspected that one day, a programming error could potentially lead the Roombas to see everything as dirt, including us. They become organized and quickly overrun all major cities, vacuuming them out of existence. Per their survival, they then begin to reproduce, making billions more Roombas to prepare to conquer the stars. In the eyes of the Roomba army, all is dust and they will not be satisfied until the entire universe is spotless.
Disclaimer: We at Cheeky are for the most part not psychic and thus, cannot predict the future. Any resemblance to actual future events are purely coincidental. We at Cheeky are sorry.