Forbidden fables

Stories untold! Secrets revealed! These are the stories they never told you…

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Sonya Sheptunov

Cheeky’s forbidden fables header. Art by Sonya Sheptunov and Kellen Hoard

Sonya Sheptunov and Kellen Hoard

 

Here comes Santa Claus, right down…a communist lane?

He takes from the rich and gives to the needy in honor of Karl Marx. The Yuletide man dressed from head to toe in red fulfills his duty to the motherland lucky for him, going down chimneys on Christmas is the perfect disguise for a Communist spy.

 

“Why I lay eggs”: Easter Bunny tells all

“I’m a mammal, but for as long as I can remember, I have laid eggs,” the six foot tall Rabitus eastereus said. 

 

Forgotten holiday characters form support group in time of crisis

Members include these actual, real creatures Cheeky wishes it made up: Gryla, the Icelandic ogress who eats children and steals sausages; La Befana, an Italian woman who sweeps the floor at night; and Tio de Nadal, a log that defecates gifts for children.

 

Leprechauns unite against common enemy

The Leprechaun Anti-Cereal League is fighting for better cereal in Lucky Charms.  “It is an embarrassment that the cereal is so bad,” the leader of the group said. “We can’t have a leprechaun representing such a subpar product.”

 

Cupid has a new hobby: arson

Cupid found himself one of Elon Musk’s flamethrowers, thinking when he torched people it would lead to a more fiery passion between them. Three are dead.